“This book is both terrifying and hopeful…”

               --Rick Kogan, Chicago Tribune, WGN-AM

“Zak Mucha's words are dangerous to abusers, because his words mean things, and they name things. They name and describe the mechanisms of emotional abuse, and in doing so they provide weapons of self-defense and methods of liberation.”

--from the introduction by Dogo Barry Graham, Zen Buddhist monk

We have been incorrectly socialized to believe emotional abuse is not as damaging as physical or sexual abuse and there is no “real” evidence other than the victim’s complaints. The victim of emotional abuse is dismissed precisely because he or she cannot “prove” their feelings. Emotional abuse creates a vicious dynamic where the victim is taught his or her feelings do not count and any pain suffered is, somehow, their own fault. This damage can radiate throughout every aspect of life.

Emotional abuse is about power. Whoever can define reality has the ultimate power. In emotional abuse, the aggressor attempts to define reality --- to shape how another person perceives reality.

Our self-defense depends on our willingness to identify the boundaries that define who we are and the criteria we desire for relationships.